Dating Advice for Men

Meeting Women In Stores,
Online, In Malls...

***QUESTION***

Hey D,

I've been subscribing to the newsletters and just got your book. Super stuff dude. I've naturally been C&F to the girls I don't really like but they stick to me. I've been a super wuss to the ones I like and it's like trying to stick the same polar ends of a magnet together.

Lemme share this. I was out with a 6-pointer girl I met over the Net (using your online profile of course!) We met up with a few of my other friends and went to a club. There, I left my friend to fend for herself while I got on to meet new people.

There was this hoochie-mama (9.9) and I got talking with her. Didn't give her any compliments like I would normally do. I noticed that she was wearing a white/blue dress but had her toenails painted red. I just said "Why are your toes red? Don't you know that red and blue don't match, especially on your toes? You color blind or something?" Shocker. The look on her was priceless.

Continued talking and she said "Those guys there are oogling at me non-stop." At which point I said "Don't be modest. They're just desperate."

Came to a point where I just asked "so what's your number?" She just grabbed my mobile and keyed it in before I could say abracadabra.

The other girl was just observing me and started to get restless and came over to sit next to me. She had her head on my shoulders and started to tell the hoochie-mama that I'm playing THE game. "Hello...who invited you into this conversation?" was my response to that.

Anyway, I decided to leave even though the 9-pointer kept asking me to follow her to another place. Drove the other one home and well...she was basically all over me, dude.

Gonna call the mama soon. Any advice? Sorry it's long but just had to tell. Felt like a million dollars. And my advice to others is, you really have to live being C&F and not be overawed by the 9-pointer for you to get anywhere. Live the book, don't learn it.

Cheers,

~ A, Far East

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Dude, you're kind of like some kind of combination of Austin Powers and a bad hip-hop group.

But I'm feelin' ya flow, dog.

Good job using the online personals material to meet a cute girl.

A lot of guys pass up the online personal, thinking that only desperate and unattractive women would be running online personal ads...

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

There are all kinds of women online who are running personal ads... for all different reasons.

And personal ads give you the chance to communicate on a more "even playing field" with women... you and she both have to actually COMMUNICATE.

It's good stuff, especially when you're familiar with the style of communication that you've learned from my materials.

As far as advice on the "mama", just keep doing what you're doing.

And DON'T turn into WussBoy as you get to know her.

There's nothing that will kill ATTRACTION faster than turning into a Girl Man just as she starts to like you.

***QUESTION***

Mr. DeAngelo,

I know you get a lot of questions and things but I have a dire situation. I have your advanced series - the book and DVD, the works... great stuff. I love every minute of it because this comes so natural to me. I was doing it to everyone already, but just not to women because my mother brought me up to treat women nice and buy flowers etc... I don't know where I'd be had I not stumbled upon your website one day.

Anyway - on to my dire question, this is not for myself, it's for my best buddy. His girlfriend and I are good friends and she and I chat once in a while about my friend and how everything is going. She dropped him off at the airport the other day, he was leaving to visit family in California... for THREE days. One, two, three. 3!! AND HE CRIED! I have done my best to help him by forwarding newsletters and he understands them when he reads them, but only in theory - he takes no action. I have even tried to explain certain things to him. As of late I have given up. I wasn't sure if you did door-to-door slap service, but I would gladly pay for it. Anyway I don't know how or if you can help but I didn't know who else to turn to. If there is anything you recommend I should do please tell me. His girlfriend tells me he's acting weird lately and smothering her and her mother has even told him to back away. Should I attempt to tell him this? Thanks for anything... I did my best to keep this short.

~A.R., Seattle, Washington

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, it sounds to me like YOU'RE not the one who has the "dire situation".

Sounds like it's your buddy.

I mean, you realize of course that he IS going to screw this up... and at some point in the future you ARE going to have to either:

  1. Listen to her complain about how he's being a WussBag and how she doesn't need another girlfriend... she has plenty.

  2. Listen to HIM complain about how she seems to be acting less and less "happy" in general, and more and more annoyed at him... even though he's being "nicer and nicer" to her.

  3. Listen to them both whine and complain after she DUMPS HIS ASS for acting like such a girl.

  4. Endure some combination of the above.

Some guys just get so caught up in their emotions that they refuse to even entertain the idea that they should be doing things differently.

And, unfortunately, some guys need to learn the hard way.

Let him read my response to your email. Maybe it will get his attention.

But it probably won't.

Remember, he's emotionally hypnotized right now, and there's not much hope that he's going to stop acting like a Wuss... no matter what.

By the way, a few thoughts on the "mom teaching us to be 'nice' to women and buy them flowers", and why they teach us this stuff...

I've thought a lot about this one, and I've even had many discussions with MY OWN MOM about this.

Of course, my mom thinks that all men should take women to dinner, buy them things, get them gifts, and support them financially.

As you can imagine, the conversations that she and I have are interesting...

But think about it.

Your mom isn't going to say "Well, son... we women don't have any idea why we feel attraction for men, but the ones we do feel attraction for are usually difficult, funny, mysterious, and challenging..."

Moms are trying teach their sons to be politically correct nice guys... and imagining an ideal young woman who will see that wonderful, sweet, kind boy of theirs that they taught to act like a girly-man and think he's just perfect...

They're trying to create the NICE GUY that they WISH that THEY were attracted to.

Read that again.

They can't admit that they want the challenging, cocky, MASCULINE guy that they read about in romance novels...

So they need something a little more "acceptable" to turn their boy into.

The reality is that women aren't going to teach you how to become a man that women feel an INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for...

Because they CAN'T.

They don't understand it themselves.

And besides, women aren't interested in the guys that they have to TEACH.

They want guys that TRIGGER those feelings of ATTRACTION... not guys who need to LEARN HOW.

Thanks for your email.

Get ready to hear your buddy cry a lot more in the future. I know, it sucks. But being a friend is not always fun and easy.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dear Dave,

Reading your columns and, however hard to admit, perfect advice is a guilty pleasure. A friend of mine completely changed his whole way with girls after seeing the DVD series. My best friends (one a model and the other a beautiful business woman) used to say he was cute but kind of pathetic. Now they both commonly use the word "sexy" when describing him. This whole change in 6 months! I signed up for your column to get a "one up" on the David D. moves. Turns out, I'm still the biggest victim of cocky and funny ever. 100% factual case in point (and men READ THIS!!! And for gods sake get the Audio Book because I'd hate to think you will make the same mistake) from two of the five dates I went on last week.

Guy #1: Harvard MBA, millionaire, smart, good-looking, plays polo, golf, tennis, country club, biggest Mercedes, four houses in different cities and countries. No competing with this guy, right? WRONG! Right off the bat, Mr. "In the Bag" says how crazy he is about me, that I look like I could be a model or a TV newscaster (I expected this). Offers to pay my December rent. Recounts his current court battles with his ex-wife over money and how he still sends money to his coke-snorting ex-girlfriend. Offers to take me to Buenos Aires THIS WEEK to look for a house and I could pick out the curtains. Made sure to let me know all about his VIP job. NOTHING was left to mystery and I felt like I'd just been given a sales pitch. At the end of the date, as we were waiting for the valet to pull up his Mercedes, he kind of grabbed me and awkwardly kissed me in the glaring street light as I moved my head. He called me the next morning (8am) to say he was so sorry because he knows the kiss went poorly and he really liked me and wants to know if I think he is too big of loser to go out with again and could we get together that night? Answer? YES you are a loser (I didn't think you were a loser, but you changed that in one night). And NO (as much as I want to keep loving you because of your amazing resume, I 'd throw up if you ever kissed me again) we will not go out again.

Guy #2: Brings in about 40,000 bones a year as a graphic designer. Offers nothing to me by way of financial stability. One inch shorter than my 5'10. The DEFINITION of confidence: cocky and funny. Pulls up to get me in his old pick-up and says next time it will be on his mountain bike. Says, "I'm thinking I'll take you to KFC, do you expect something more?" We go to dinner for cheap Japanese Food. He refrains from the usual round of predictable compliments and manages to say a couple of things that completely take me by surprise. We split the tab (I think I even offered to pay the whole thing!). He takes me to the couch he's crashing on at his brothers while in town. We make love throughout the night and through out the next day. I don't say anything about commitment to this guy, even though I count down the minutes to each of his calls, and am dying to see him again. He keeps calling but has been mysteriously unavailable to see me in person for 3 weeks! I'm seeing him this weekend (driving 2 hours to HIS house in Santa Barbara!) and am going crazy to know what will happen. I happen to know he is still seeing other girls (he even told me last week on the phone he kissed one and she was dying to sleep with him but he wouldn't have sex with her), but somehow I'm still putting myself in the mix.

MEN! Don't be guy #1. It's a waste of your time to get the MBA and the nice Mercedes if you mess up the fundamentals. You probably are already guy #2. You just need to act like him and you might have a chance of getting an intelligent, sassy, and beautiful woman like me.

E.

Los Angeles

>>>MY COMMENTS:

In the future, all attractive women with attractive friends that live in Los Angeles who write to me MUST include:

  1. A clear picture of themselves.

  2. A clear picture of all attractive and available friends (especially models).

  3. A list of favorite restaurants that they would like to take me to along with said friends whose pictures are included in said email.

Got it?

Great email. You have done the male gender a great service by being honest about your "guilty pleasure" of reading these emails... and by telling the plain truth about why women aren't attracted to men who try too hard and seek approval.

Well done.

Now send pictures.

***QUESTION***

David,

First off I would like to say that after reading your book, it not only helped me reflect on past interactions with women, but it also helped me reflect on myself as a person. After reading Double Your Dating, it completely blew my mind when I FINALLY realized the things I had done completely wrong in the past with women. So with that, I'd like to share a fairly recent experience I had with a local lifeguard hottie.

I had noticed her as soon as I entered the pool. She was very athletic with tight abs and long dark legs that went on for days. Shoulder-length brown hair, brown eyes... Very nice. But anyway, let's get back to my story. I'm a shorter guy... 20 years old. About 5'5", with short red hair, freckles, and an average body. I didn't approach her initially, because I wanted to swim and brainstorm what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach. Later on, as I am getting my stuff ready to leave the pool... I notice that a couple of 11 or 12 year old BOYS are flirting with the her. After they hang around her ladder for about 3 minutes she seems to get annoyed by them. Bam, just like that a light bulb flashes above my head.

So I wait until those kids leave until I make my approach... Then I slowly walk over to her in a cocky way with a smirk on my face and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself." Then I paused for dramatic effect so she could wonder what the hell I was talking about. She just kind of smiled in a way that said "What did I do?" Then I say, "...hitting on those 12 year old boys like that. What's wrong with you anyway?" And then her face lighted up and she said something sarcastic to the effect of "Yeah I know, I can't help it." After that I thought I would test a technique that was mentioned in a previous newsletter. So then I asked her if I could ask a quick question. It was then when I asked her "Are you single?" in a way similar to asking what time it is with a straight and serious face. Of course her face lighted up again, and she was clearly flattered by the question... BUT she wasn't single. Damn. lol. She then went into a spill about how she had a boyfriend for 3 years, and she told me where she was from, etc. Looking back on the whole thing, I think I should've followed through a little better and still got her e-mail anyway and offer friendship, but after I found out she wasn't single I kind of lost interest. Even though she wasn't single, overall I still think it was a success for me. Because she still reacted in a positive way, and left me with a feeling that if she was single, I KNOW I would have been able to get her e-mail and number.

Now to the question... I have only read the book once... And I THINK I get it. BUT, I think I should read it again once or twice. So that I KNOW I get it. Even though your techniques are making sense and hit close to home for me... I can't seem to find the motivation to go out and meet women. I don't know what it is, but it's almost like I would rather spend my nights at home instead of getting out of the house to meet women. I think it may be a confidence issue, and I should just read the book again a couple times.

Nice work David. The newsletter is GREAT. Keep it up man.

J.B., Missouri

P.S. To all the short guys out there like me: keep your head up. If you're 5'5 "... Walk like you're 6'5". It makes a huge difference. And remember, YOU'VE GOT TA STRUT!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, baby.

Maybe you should do a video program called:

"HOW TO STRUT - A COURSE FOR SHORT GUYS"

Might be a big hit... who knows.

And about rereading my book...

DUH.

That book is a REFERENCE TOOL. It's something that you should read DAILY until you master the techniques described.

You're CRAZY if you read it once, and then put it aside.

It's a huge mistake to not review great ideas on a regular basis.

Good job, and read the book again!

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave,

Your stuff is pure gold, as if you didn't already know. I used to have a hard time with women and now since I got your book it's like I don't even have to try nearly as hard and I'm getting ten times the digits (phone #'s).

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you this story. I was at the grocery store doing my food shopping. Well, as I'm going down the frozen food section I notice this totally hot girl about mid to late 20's looking at frozen dinners. I walked up to her like I was just shopping and notice she's looking at frozen meals, the type you throw in the microwave. So I ask her if that was for her dog and she didn't even look up at me and said it was for her boyfriend for when she goes away this weekend. So I told her that if I was her boyfriend and she left that crap for me that she'd come back to find all her stuff on the front porch with the door locks changed. So she finally looks up with this look of disbelief, as if to say "oh no you just didn't!" So I just laugh at her and ask her if she knows how to cook. She says a little but not really and I tell her that's too bad because the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. She's laughs again and tells me she can make spaghetti. Then I tell her any moron can boil water and throw in some noodles and laugh at her again. The whole time she had this look as if she's never been talked to like this, along with a big smile. So I TOLD her to give me her email address and I'll send her some recipes so that her poor boyfriend doesn't starve to death. She laughs and says that he's on his way out anyway and gives me her email and phone number (which I didn't tell her to give me) and says that she'd like some good recipes anyway. So I wait 5 days and send her an email and tell her that she better not mess up my mother's recipe. She writes back within the hour and asked if I wanted to meet her for a drink. I said that I couldn't today but maybe next week I'd be available. Immediately she writes back and says that she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to get to know me. So I write back the next day and say "good for him, maybe now he'll get a decent meal". That went over perfect, because she wrote me back and asked me again to meet for drinks, I replied that since she's not playing hard to get that I will and tell her I'll only meet her for drinks if she buys. She says she'll meet me the next day at 7:00 at the local bar. I arrived at around 7:15 and walk right up to the bar, I saw her in the corner but didn't make eye contact. So I order a beer and then I hear her over my shoulder "I'll get that beer for him." The rest is history! Thanks again Dave!

- K.L.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, you're kind of funny in a beer commercial kind of way...

Classy.

It's special.

You ever think of becoming a greeting card writer or something?

You sound like you'd be good at writing things that make women feel happy and special in their hearts.

OK, OK... I have to admit that your letter was pretty entertaining.

You're obviously have a good, strong understanding of how to dial up the Sexual Tension... very nice.

Call Hallmark. Maybe they're looking for writers...

***QUESTION***

Hello, I am a very smart person (I.Q. of about 160), and I often feel like most women are not up to my level of intellect; their gregariousness simply amuses me. They always seem to move away from me, I don't understand why. I am always the first guy to give them compliments, and tell them "I love you". What am I doing wrong? Your c+f technique is horrible, although I have used it on my mom and dad and they are suddenly attracted to me. Is this normal?

F.Z

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, you sound pretty smart.

Maybe you should go take the I.Q. test again.

Sounds like you might have gotten a person who put a 1 in front of your score on accident, man.

Get it checked again.

***QUESTION***

Davo,

[I] was just reading the latest email, and felt like sharing my two cents (and experiences) with ya. I'll start off by saying that the comment you made (in the Advanced Series) to sort of personalize your cocky/funny attitude is spot on. When I first got the book/CDs, I thought laying on as much cocky/funny as possible was the way to go. I still think it is in cases, but in the CD, you mention that good-looking guys should tone down the cocky a bit. This is sooo true. I do a bit of modeling, but I never had any real confidence. I find what works best for me is to just project my self- confidence, make sure I stand out from the wussies, and keep as much humor as possible with just a bit of cocky here and there. Works like a charm.

Oh and one cool thing I like to do, is to have fun with the c/f, and then to TELL the girl how NICE a guy I am. They sooo get it, & its like you say- the difference between the words you use and what you're SAYING. The funny thing is, the ladies actually do think of you as a great guy when you have fun with them and tease them. And they will still think of you as nice AND be attracted to you, because you are actually giving them what they want. They appreciate you "bantering" with them, they love it! Better being seen as nice than a nice guy I say.

Sorry to take a third paragraph, but I've got one quick story that worked a charm. I'm a pilot, and where I work there is an overwhelming majority of guys & one girl who gets most of the attention because there isn't really anyone else. When I started there, these guys were being classic wusses and doing most of her work for her etc. Anyway, I called her on it, gave her a hard time for it, and the best bit of all- I told all the other guys to stop doing that stuff for her, with her right there. This showed her that I knew exactly what was really going on. Anyway that was a few months ago, we've spent "a bit of time together" ;) and I had forgotten all about it and assumed she had too. Well, a few days ago she brought it up and said "how much of a jerk" I was to do that. Shows that it's still working, in my opinion.

Cheers,

- C.B., Australia

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Verrrrry nice.

Now you're getting it.

The fact that you had the nerve to tells guys to stop being such Wussies to a girl... with her standing right there... IS FANTASTIC.

And teasing a girl until she's flustered, then turning it around and telling her what a nice guy you are... another brilliant move.

Always send mixed messages... because it's damn fun, and women love it.

***QUESTION***

Yo David D,

OK, I have written you before and have never seen my emails in your mailbag, and I just want to say ...THANK YOU FOR NOT RESPONDING!!! I was asking all the stupid questions like "how do I make her see I am the one?" And saying stupid crap like "she is the only one for me." WHAT A WUSS I WAS BEING! I took the advice you told one guy to do, I wrote YSSUW on a piece of paper and looked in the mirror with it. Since then I have taken your advice and said NEXT. I want to keep this short but let me tell you I have had no lonely times since. So in short, you are the man. I am going to purchase the advanced series this week. You saved me from a life of approval-seeking WUSSDOM. Thanks a bunch.

S.E.R., NC

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Congratulations on actually making the WUSSY sign and looking at yourself with it.

I know it sounds strange, but things like that make an impression on your mind... and help.

I think you're going to be OK.

Now send in a killer success story, and share the details!

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi David,

This story is especially for the guys (like me) who have a hard time making the mental transition to go out and just start talking to girls they don't know and trying the material from the Ebook and advanced series. I found that I intellectually understood your material and agreed with it, but that when it came time to try and really put it into practice that I was still too nervous and probably fearful of rejection to relax and use the material properly. My discovery came accidentally one day when I was returning from a transcontinental trip. I was so tired from the long journey (at least 24 hours straight in taxis, buses, airports and flying) that I found myself in kind of a strange mental state where I just didn't care what anyone thought of me per se. Not in a rude or aggressive way but just no real fear of censure or anything. It was amazing that even as I walked through the airport and to a couple of stores doing some grocery shopping on my way home with this attitude, girls were smiling at me and making more direct eye contact than I ever usually get. Just from the different way I must have walked and carried myself with this "I don't care" attitude! Amazing. While checking out at a grocery store I found myself teasing the cashier, a beautiful young woman, before I even realized what I was doing and I just didn't care. Can't remember exactly how the exchange went but was something like this:

[as she was checking my things she hesitated for a second on a bottle of wine looking for price or something]

Me: Hey hey easy on the merchandise. If you want one go and get one yourself.

Her: [looking at me kind of confused but with hint of smile already] no uh I was just looking for the price?

Me: Yeah sure. and don't try to talk me into inviting you over to share it either.

(She smiles bigger this time. Eyes change the way they are looking at me - kind of focus down and tighten like she is hunting or something - seriously it was kind of freaky - and she kind of starts mumbling some lame thing about she was really just looking for price - I interrupt her in middle of this with a patronizing tone this time)

Me: At least if you're going to hit on me, have the guts to admit it. {then kind of leaning in and whispering) And you might want to work on your technique a bit. It's kind of cheezy after that - I had her write her email on the back of my receipt. When I woke up next day and thought back over it, it really seemed like that was someone else inhabiting my body or it had just been a dream except that I had the receipt and email. So I was amazed but thought of it as a one-time fluke. However, after a few weeks I had to stay up really late on a project and was just dead tired the next day at work. Again I noticed that I just didn't care and was very relaxed and again had no problem utilizing the material on new or already known women. I'm not really sure why it works or that it would work for anyone else, but it's helped me get started on making this mental switch. Thanks for all the great material Dave, and sorry this is so freaking long.

- D from Seattle

P.S. I really hope you can print this one as I think other more timid readers might be able to relate and get something from this

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, nice!

I think that maybe what I should advise guys to do is stay up for 24 hours straight, then go out to meet women...

You know, wait until you're in some bizarre, faded state of mind... then go out and talk to girls.

Sounds tight.

I'll tell you, though...

Your stories are great.

The idea of accusing a female checker of "putting her hands on your merchandise" is fantastic.

And then implying that she's trying to pick up on YOU... and that she's hinting that she wants you to invite her to share... VERY good.

And I also like the idea of having her write her email on the back of a receipt. Very nice.

You're learning, young Jedi.

Keep it up.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Your stuff is amazing. I've been using your techniques for about half a year now and I'm seeing how much of an idiot I used to be OBSESSING over the same girls over and over, always being the nice guy. I would constantly be extremely nice *cough* be a wussy *cough* to the point where I thought my new cologne had a secret girl repellent or something. Now that I've adopted your ways I feel completely refreshed and confident, like a brand new man. I can now get girls that I thought were way out of my league as easy as pie. I have a couple questions though. My best friend, who has pretty low confidence because he has never had a serious girlfriend before, (the only one he had was using him to get to me), sees me "perform" my new abilities with ease, yet he is still too stubborn to try this out. He says he's happy being the person (wussy) he is, and that women will just have to accept him for who he is. I tried explaining this philosophy to him many times, and we usually end up getting into a fight about it. I can't even convince him to sign up for this newsletter because he is afraid of being "fake". I need some advice to help him, thanks.

OK, onto my next question. This is the only real problem I have when dealing with women. From time to time, they tell me they are fat and ugly and worthless. I'm not sure whether to agree to bust on them, or to console them. I know busting on them would follow the guidelines of the C+F attitude, but I think if I AM too harsh it would be more detrimental than good. On the other hand, if I do console them by saying at least "No, you aren't," that makes me look like a wussy, and just a feel-good go to compliment guy. I think this is a situation that a lot of guys have to deal with, because a bunch of America's women do have low self-esteem and look to guys to uplift their mood. Seriously though, Dave, I'd still be wondering how to impress the next girl I obsess with if it weren't for me finding your website. Thanks.

P.D., Methuen, MA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, advice to help your friend:

Get him a subscription to Playboy. He's going to be dating his right hand for a LOOOONG time.

Advice on your second question:

If a woman says "I'm fat and ugly"... RUN.

Just stand up, and RUN AWAY.

If she IS fat and ugly, then you probably aren't going to want a date with her...

And if she ISN'T fat and ugly, but she THINKS that she is... then you've got a bigger problem than you think.

The last thing you need in your life is a woman with a screwed up self image and emotional problems.

If you MUST pursue a woman who says "I'm fat and ugly", just reply "Your words, not mine" and get on to the next topic.

And do yourself a big favor... find women who aren't messed up in the head. It's much more fun in the long run.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I really appreciate the mental process of taking a complex concept or problem and boiling it down to something simple other people can wrap their brains around and you are the master, my friend. Reading your ebook and newsletter I've about bruised my forehead slapping it when saying to myself: "DUH!" At my age (53) and going for women close to my age, it doesn't all apply as much as it does for your normal target audience but enough does that it's changed my love life!

I've always been super-shy when it comes to initially meeting women (although I grew out of the wussy stage years ago - life's too short for that) and I work at home and don't do bars so I decided to use the Internet services. I wasn't having much luck but I got your ebook and thought I'd try the C+F there, with nothing to lose, kind of using it as a practice field. Cut to the chase: I wrote to a cute lady in New Jersey (I'm on the West Coast so I had nothing to lose) and said "I've got two questions for you: Why are you in New Jersey and when's the next flight from Newark to Seattle?" She came back with a schedule of flights going the other direction! She was jumping right in the game. We've had fun teasing back and forth for a while but to make a long story short, she booked a flight out here for next month. No way was I going to wuss out and buy a ticket to New Jersey first, I waited for her to make that move first. Then I booked my flight east.

Now here's one your readers might get a kick out of and maybe even use. When I still thought nothing was really going to come of this and got bored with the chitter-chatter I figured "what the hell" and stepped it up to the next level. Out of the blue I told her I thought she has a nice-looking neck and I'd like to take my tongue and trace a line from her shoulder to her ear and nibble on it. Magic! I've used this one on a few other women and I find it works wonders; one told me she could feel the chills when she read it. Now, if I hadn't stuck with the C+F all along, what would she have felt? "Dirty old man! You're outta here!" We're never too old to learn.

- O.J., Kirkland, WA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Hey, great job, man.

Now, before you get too excited about this girl from NJ that you met online...

Here are a few tips for you:

  1. Get at LEAST 10 pictures of this woman... and make sure that they were ALL taken within the last 30 days.
  2. Make sure it's HER in the pictures she sends over to you.
  3. If you can, GET VIDEO. It's worth it to have her get a cheap USB webcam so you can see what you're dealing with.
  4. Make sure her return flight is FLEXIBLE, and that there are flights back to NJ SOON after she arrives.

Why?

Because I've seen and even experienced many things that would make you want to run and hide if you saw them...

You might be the type of guy who isn't as concerned about how a woman looks.

That's fine.

But I'm trying to make sure that you're getting what you're EXPECTING.

I'll tell you, having someone fly across the country is serious... if she shows up and happens to look NOTHING like her one single glamour shot taken ten years ago when she was 47 pounds lighter and before she started wearing wigs... you're going to have a BIG surprise.

Take it from me... really.

Get the details... and make sure there are flights that are OPEN to NJ...

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave.

Just a note to say "thanks" for your daily e-mails. They keep my attitude sharp! The kind of attitude you describe works not only with women, but with others, including my boss!

Now a word in reply to the guy who wrote about capturing the attention of the hottest stripper in town. I'm old (61), short and fat, but after raising my kids and getting divorced, I've had the time of my life! I had a friend who supplied local models and strippers with stage costumes and shoes, and when she invited me to be her assistant, I took her up on it. Wow! I'm naturally cocky and funny, and these girls never saw me as a "pursuer" so guess what? I've had an endless string of beauties (these girls "refer" guys they like to each other). I currently get phone calls from about 4 a day, which is all I can handle. The point of this is that, while they're fun (and ego-boosting), they're not "settling down" material. During the time I've had all the 10s any guy could handle, a couple of really nice women appeared on the scene, and guess what? I totally wussified! Somehow, I didn't realize the things that worked with "hot" women would work with any woman. Until I read your stuff, I couldn't figure out why I was so successful with women guys drool over and so unsuccessful with "real" women. Now I know. I even know why my ex left. Over the years, I became a TOTAL wussy with her without even realizing it! It just happened so gradually.even though she said over and over and over she hated "WIMPS!" Thanks, Dave, for turning on the light for me! I'm one of those really bright guys you talk about who never realized what was working and what wasn't until you hit me over the head with it. Never too late to learn, I hope.

BH, San Jose, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, let me get this straight...

You became the ASSISTANT to a woman who supplied costumes to strippers... and that's how you met all these girls and had four of them a day calling you?

Something tells me that after this newsletter we're going to see a lot of guys applying for that job all over the world...

Interesting.

Well, you're right on...

"Nice" girls that are "settling down material" also like men who are interesting, challenging, and funny.

And if you start acting like a Wuss around them, they'll use you and lose you like an old pair of shoes.

Women don't want boring, ass-kissing, predictable guys who are uninteresting to spend time with.

All women want a guy that they feel ATTRACTION for. And being a Wuss isn't going to make that happen... no matter how hard you try.

If this dating stuff I teach doesn't work out, I'll give you a ring and get some tips on how to become an assistant for a topless dancer costume dealer.

Nice.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I've been reading your newsletters for awhile, and bought your ebook a few months ago, and I gotta say, your info is amazing. Physically, im tall at 6'6, have a scarred face from a rather bad case of acne when I was a teen, and am otherwise a rather ordinary 22-year-old college student. For the longest time I was an incredible wuss as you put it, and I never knew what was going wrong with my relationships - I would give up all my power, be utterly indecisive and easily intimidated by the slightest sense of disapproval from any woman. After I read your book, I thought what you said couldn't possibly work, but I decided what could it hurt to try it? So I just went down to a local café and tried out some of your ideas and after a week or so of tuning, I managed to get more phone numbers and emails than I had in the last 4, 5 years. Casual dating, one-night stands, stuff like that aren't really my things, but there was one girl that I'd had a thing for for a long time, and one day while hanging out with my friends after a movie at the local mall, I saw her walking around with a group of her friends. Normally, I wouldn't have done anything, but this time I just said to heck with it and went up and talked to her. Normally she wouldn't think twice about me because of my overwhelming wussiness (which I never understood before), but this time I just tried the c&f act on her, busting on her and her friends, making comments about all the fashions on display in the store windows, then just leaving back to my friends instead of getting clingy when she started showing interest. My friends thought I was insane, but shortly after, her and her friends came up to me and started following us around trying to keep my attention. It just enthralled me at how easily this change came about. At the end of the evening she asked to exchange numbers. Instead of calling her, I waited and she ended up calling me and asking me to go back to the mall with her for coffee at the bookstore. While there, we walked around the mall again and she took me into a clothing store, where I did nothing but make fun of all the styles and her for being into all of this kinda stuff. As we were wandering through the store, we ended up heading through the lingerie section, and instead of getting intimidated like I normally would I made a bunch of c&f comments about how artificial and insecure she must be to feel like she needed all this stuff. And as we were walking out, we ran into one of my friends who asked us what we were doing, to which I said "this pervert just took me through the lingerie section! I mean, I barely know her!" This clinched it, and afterwards she was all over me. Since then I haven't let off, and we've been in a steady relationship now for a little over a month now, and its easily the best one I've ever been in. I do have a question though, because of this she's become really attached, and I'm not complaining at all. But in doing so, she's done a lot of things like meet me at 5am at an airport to see me off for the recent Thanksgiving vacation, and various other things. She's asked me to do a few of these things too, which I did reluctantly because I felt bad for not returning that kind of action... Normally I wouldn't do this (for me, 5am doesn't exist unless absolutely necessary), but I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure how to deal with things like this, this early in a relationship. I know relationships aren't really your area, but thanks for any help on this, and thanks overall for all the information - you're a lifesaver, man.

S.D.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I just want you to know... all over the world, guys are standing and cheering for you!

Nice... I really enjoyed your story.

I know what it's like to not have any idea how to even start a conversation with a girl... never mind get a girl's number when you first meet her...

And I know how good it feels to learn how to get over your insecurities and then go out and make something happen that you've always wanted.

Here's what you need to do now...

The more you be who YOU want to be, the more she'll stay attracted to you.

You're bordering on the "relationship" questions here, which I don't really like to get into...

And the reality is that if you give up your own life, or put yourself aside for a woman, she will probably begin to lose respect for you.

You can be NICE without being a WUSSY... and you are going to have to learn how to walk that line if you want to have a good relationship.

Keep learning this stuff... it will actually help you even more now... and good job.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Man, this stuff is revolutionary to my heretofore limited mind. I am a fairly classic bad boy, you know, lawyer with a Harley, but I have always felt all thumbs with women. I was fairly successful, mostly by dumb luck, but your materials have totally changed how I think about women. I am only through Disc Six from your series and the results have been immediate and dramatic. The genetic information is priceless, the whole notion of appealing to her on a genetic level is so liberating and rings so true that I don't know quite what to say, other than: stunning.

I looked back over the women I had been successful attracting and noticed that all of them had been attracted to me in periods of my life where I was operating generally with high confidence. You have given me the tools to operate with high confidence EVERY day. You discuss your scarcity theory at length and a similar thought from negotiation training is "operating from a position of strength". That is mostly the secret, right there.

I always tried to use the nice guy schtick. That lame ass play NEVER works. I wasted years with it. I am free of that chump forever. You talk about looking at life from an attractive chick's perspective. I have some images that really have helped me. Take it further back, and imagine her on the playground in the first grade. Little boys with devil's horns have constantly picked at her and she has thought it to be GREAT FUN ever since. That is the part of her to attract. While she has grown up, she has created this "Prince Charming" in her mind that she is looking for. And if you enter her life banging the "nice guy" drum she will naturally shuffle you toward that "Prince Charming" ideal she has in her fanciful, romantic brain. He is perfect and I will NEVER EVER match her expectations for that guy. But, the little horned devils, they get to play. And if you are enough fun, she just might try to mold you into "Prince Charming". Now, there is a task that she wants to do.

I have thought of my dealings with women in some fishing terms and metaphors that are useful. I have talked to my friends before about "nervous water". Fishing in shallow water flats, you are looking for fish in two to three feet of water. I mean to see them visibly. Sometimes, you can't see them, but the water on top of them is moving, shaking, vibrating and you just know there are fish under there. Hence, nervous water. Dealing with women, I like nervous water. You know, that period of time when you are kind of posturing and she is on your radar screen. I looked back at the women with which I had been successful over the years and realized there had always been nervous water in the beginnings with them. You teach how to create nervous water beautifully.

Further with the fishing imagery....My classic nice-guy schtick has me usually with several women merely kind of on the line, maybe biting, maybe not. I would tell friends "I can't get her close enough to the boat." And in my mind it involved some tiresome cranking, winding in and reeling her toward the boat. It had never occurred to me that maybe I could get her to swim toward the boat. You teach how to do that. This stuff is totally amazing.

Yesterday, I had three project women on my radar screen, I tried some different things I learned from you and have all three of them swimming toward the boat. In fact, I had a women in my arms on her couch with her clothes half-off last night, when I told her I had to go. That has brought a mad run to the boat this morning.

Just some of the good news from the trenches, this stuff is a WHOLE LOT OF FUN. While some of this stuff is superficially counter-intuitive, it feels right at a core, genetic level.

Thanks for the fishing tips and Happy Fishing and Happy Thanksgiving.

~ KH

Since I wrote that note above a few days ago, I cannot believe the totally fascinating encounters I have been having with women pretty much nonstop. Within minutes we are talking about sex. A beautiful yoga instructor who lives in my neighborhood was just over to watch a movie- Don Juan DeMarco. What a hoot! After the movie we talked about her love of threesomes and her small minded boyfriends. Come to f----- papa!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea yea yea... OK, no guys like you, and your friends don't want to talk to you.

I get it.

lol...

By the way, it's interesting that you mentioned learning from my program how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you on a GENETIC level...

As you know from listening to my Advanced Series, I really believe that most women have an "Attraction Mechanism" that is only triggered if you either AUTOMATICALLY trigger it because you ACCIDENTALLY do the "right" things... or you AUTOMATICALLY trigger it because you KNOW the right things to do.

And the guys who "accidentally" trigger that magical feeling of ATTRACTION in women are very few and far between...

Oh, and if you're reading this right now, the chances are that YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM.

If you are, congrats.

But if you're a regular guy like me who doesn't have women walk up to him and say "Hi, you're cute", then you need to LEARN HOW to trigger this GENETIC LEVEL ATTRACTION.

You have to get a clear understanding of the things that women unconsciously respond to... and then incorporate them into your behavior and communication.

In other words, you're not going to figure this one out with TRIAL AND ERROR.

And you're not going to figure it out by doing more of the same thing you've been doing for the last several YEARS of your life...

I'll tell you something that I find VERY interesting.

After spending several years watching guys who are "naturals" with women, paying careful attention to what they do differently from other guys who have little or no success... and then adding research of how and why women respond the way they do to everything from body language to eye contact to their own genetic programming... I've realized that there are several "Master Keys" that a guy needs to understand and "get" before he can have consistent success with women.

I've read that something like 95% of the population in America that reach the age of 65 years old are either DEAD or DEAD BROKE... this means that only 1 in about 20 people are financially independent by the time they reach retirement age.

When I read that I thought to myself "You know, I'll bet that all the people that reach age 65 and are broke THOUGHT that they'd make it big, and that they didn't need to worry about saving money during their lives...".

I know so many people that just don't pay attention to the important things... and they wind up getting into all kinds of trouble as a result.

What does this have to do with you?

Well, maybe nothing, and maybe everything.

I think that most guys who aren't successful with women are thinking one of two things:

1) I'll never be successful, so I might as well just accept it, and learn to deal with it. 2) I need to make a lot of money, buy a nice car, and take women to fancy dinners and offer them a great lifestyle in order to make women like me.

Of course, these are mental lies that actually HURT us.

These are the kinds of thoughts that keep us from DOING SOMETHING about our situations... and that lead to us winding up either ALONE or IN HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIPS.

In either case, the feeling of desperation just sucks... and it doesn't have to be this way!

So what's the answer?

Well, I think the answer is to put yourself out there, and LEARN how to attract women.

Instead of leaving it to chance, and winding up like all the other MAJORITY of men who have horrible success with women... you have to get up off your ass and make it happen.

I did. And it took me a damn long time.

I tried more stupid stuff and made more mistakes than anyone I know...

But after working on it for a LOOOONG time, I finally "cracked the code".

And I really want you to learn all the things it's taken me so long to figure out. But you're the one who has to do it.

So if you haven't gone and downloaded my online eBook, then you need to do that now. It contains literally dozens and dozens of great tips, concepts, and techniques that you can use RIGHT NOW to improve your success with women. Go download it right now here:

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David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.


Copyright 2005 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.