Contacting Members

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Q. Why am I not getting very many responses from other members?

If you're not getting many responses, it might be a good time to spice up your profile and get personal with your emails. Here are a few suggestions to get you started, and you can also call our Customer Care team toll-free for further advice: 800-942-1495.

  • Post photos in your profile. People like to talk to people they can see, so the more photos you have up, the more comfortable people will be emailing to you. In fact, most members only search for and write to people with photos, and members with photos get contacted more frequently than members without.

    Your photos should show more than just what you look like -- they should communicate your personality and the things that you love about your life! Ideally, a life that someone would want to be a part of.

    What should you show? Think fun, happy, warm, interesting, smiles... and think about the things that you love about your life (skiing, painting, traveling, playing with your dog, etc.). The first photo should be a headshot and the others can be more creative. Just remember to make them clear, recent and in focus!

  • Make your essays more descriptive. Snappy essays are what it takes for you to stand out in the dating crowd and, more importantly, attract the people who are right for you.

    The key to writing great essays? It's all in the details... in giving specific examples. No one wants to see boring lists of adjectives (nice, smart, funny, successful, attractive). They want specific examples of the things that make you different, interesting and fun to be with. Write like you talk. Pretend you're hanging out with your best friends, telling them exactly what's on your mind.

    Take a look at our list of Things To Write About if you get really stuck.

  • Write great personal introductory emails. Although "Hey, you look cute, check out my profile," may sound short and sweet, in fact, it really is a canned intro that is easily dismissed. When contacting other members, remember to ask yourself, "Why am I writing to this person?" and then tell him/her. Flattery, writing about things you have in common, and a sense of humor will get you everywhere.

    Take a look at our 5 Step Email Guide for tips on How To Write Your First Email.

  • Check your personal Inbox on the site. There may be messages waiting there that you're not aware of. If you have "spam guard" on your personal email, our notices many not be reaching you. You can set your personal email to recognize email from us so you won't miss future notices. See the Never Miss Email section in Member Services for instructions and check with your Internet Service Provider (ISP) if you have additional questions.

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